Five Things You Hope Your Kids Don’t Tell Your 90 Year Old Grandmother Who Visits Approximately Every Three Years:

5. "Great Grandma, I am not going to grow up to be a lady, I am going to be a guinea pig."

4. "Great Grandma, I know that you are 90 but my mommy told me not to mention it."

3. "Great Grandma, Your skin is very wrinkly and loose like those funny baggy puppies."

2. "Great Grandma, Your chin is pruney!"

and last but surely not least...

(pointing at Grandma's blouse and lifting her own)

1. "Great Grandma, Do you have milk?