Babylove

Nurturing the Adopted Child

Helen, at Castle Immaculate, is the mother of seven blessings.  She has begun a series of posts that will help mothers of adopted children to bond with their little ones.  Her first post is entitled Winning Your Child, followed by a continuation about the importance of keeping the baby close by using a sling.  She gives helpful information for mothers who will be feeding their little one with a bottle in her post called Winning Your Child with Bottle Feeding. 

Helen's entire weblog is a treasure of information for Catholic parents.  She has many informative posts regarding the adoption process and parenting in general that are full of wisdom and loving kindness.  Please stop by!  You'll be glad you did.

The Loveliness of Babies

Babylove is happy to be a participant in the Loveliness of Babies, hosted by Elizabeth at Real Learning.  Those of you who welcome, cherish and celebrate the littlest people will want to spend time reading the many wonderful entries of like minded people.  Enjoy! 

Not to Miss…

Elizabeth has brought me to tears with her sincere gratitude for the vocation of motherhood and her deep love of little ones.  Her post reminds us to remember to thank God for our blessings and to pray our way through the emotionally and physically exhausting times, the times when we are surrounded by tiny people and all of their immediate needs.  While it is extremely challenging to care for babies and toddlers, there is great joy to be found, not "despite it all" but "because of it all" . 

Good Mothering

"Good mothering means babying the baby, accepting that his wants and his needs are the same.  It includes holding him when he is too full to nurse, but he is not ready to sleep.  Mothering is changing a diaper or playing peek-a -boo. 

It means recognizing that each child has an inexhaustible need to be loved for what he is--a person with his own individuality.  As he grows, his needs will change.  A toddler needs freedom and guidance, with an ever-watchful eye.  The manner in which these early needs are met, or not met, has a great deal to do with a child's response to people and situations in later life.  The way the child is mothered is important, not only to mother and child, but to society as well.

Marian Tompson, one of La Leche League's founders, observes, 'No matter how far our world advances technologically, the decisions of how to use that technology still have to be made by people.  And so the kind of people we produce is crucial to the direction our world takes.  You know that raising a loving, caring child is the most important contribution any of us can make to the progress of the world.' "

The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, 5th edition, 1991

Maria Montessori on Discipline of Children

"Discipline must come through liberty...We do not consider an individual disciplined when he has been rendered as artificially silent as a mute and as immovable as a paralytic.  He is individual annihilated, not disciplined."

There’s Something in That Smile

My littlest blessing has got me wrapped around her beautiful, fat, little finger.  Yep, I'm hooked.  She has reached the age where she looks up at me while nursing, pauses and gives me one of those big toothless grins that just make my heart melt. 

All this in time for another milestone... the stage called "When my Mommy walks away, even for a second, I am going to cry and let her know I miss her".  Put that irresistable toothless grin together with her strong attachment to Mom and I know that I will be holding her for most of our waking hours.  With my firstborn, I was always looking for opportunities to set him down and "get things done".  Now, sadly, I think how ridiculous I was to think it was more important to scrub my grout than to hold my little lambchop. 

If you were to stop over my house this afternoon you would find a messy kitchen, a whole lot of clean laundry to be folded and a bunch of happy kids. The baby spends a lot of time in the sling or sitting on a blanket in whatever room I am working in at the time.  I try to include the littles in the work that I do.  I measure the day's success by the children's joy, not the number of windows washed.

My home is not picture perfect by any means. Not a day goes by that I do not wish I were better at keeping things tidy and getting on top of the work.  But, this is not the time for spotless homes and smudge-free windows.  It is the time for babies and diapers, toddlers, toys, boys, books and blocks.  My day will come when I sit home in my spotless, quiet home, wishing someone would come over and liven things up a bit.  I hope that day doesn't come soon.

A Kindred Spirit at Starry Sky Ranch

I know those of you who visit Babylove are here because babies are pure joy to you.   Kim at Starry Sky Ranch is another advocate for kind, gentle, attachment parenting.  Please read her wonderful post entitled Parenting:  Art or Science ?  Her children are learning, firsthand, how to put little ones needs before their own, how to "do unto others" by seeing their parents' example, self sacrifice and love.

Gratefulness for the Vocation of Motherhood

"When we had our children, our ideas changed somewhat. Thenceforward, we lived only for them; they made all our happiness and we would never have found it save in them. In fact, nothing any longer cost us anything; the world was no longer a burden to us. As for me, my children were my great compensation, so that I wished to have many in order to bring them up for Heaven."--Venerable Zelie Martin, mother of St. Therese, the Little Flower

I cannot begin to share with you what an enormous amount of love I have in my heart for each of my children.  I fight the tears when I think about how blessed my husband and I are to have these souls entrusted in our care.  Surely, we have our share of normal family frustrations; arguing, backtalk, chaotic hours in the day, but the whole of it is pure joy. 

I really believe that the biggest blessing, as well as challenge, to me as a mother has been the repetitive dying to self, forming the habit of putting others first.  It is so very difficult yet so very simple.  It is the one consistent task at hand each day.  Who will I serve? God or Self? I hope, as I grow each day in my role as mother, that the correct choice will come easily to me.   

The vocation of motherhood is joyful regardless of the trials, the sickness, the financial stresses, come what may.  The world is selling women fame, fortune and control but we, as mothers, are instead living a life of complete abandonment and of service to others.  The happiness to be had, the freedom to be found within this vocation is enormous and is ours for the asking simply by serving as Christ served. 

There are days, however, when the drudgery of the task, the fatigue of my body, my desire to be appreciated get the best of me and I falter, complaining as I go about my work, grumbling while I perform my chores.  But when I look upon it all at the end of the day, I repent of my selfishness and short sightedness.  I hold that tiny hand and gaze into those blue eyes with the long, long lashes and give thanks.  God is Good.  All the time.